Battle of the Bella's
by Lady Neelahn
Summary: The Barden Bella's are a supporting sisterhood. They lived the perfect life. Everybody wanted to be like them. What if their llife is an illusion?
1. Sometimes love is hate

The Barden Bella's. Barden University's only all women a capella group. They were successful and popular. Everybody wanted to be around them, because they looked like the tight close knit group they claimed to be.

But the reality was very different. The Bella's house where they all lived together resembled most of the time a war zone instead of a loving supporting sisterhood.

Ten girls with different personalities living together was asking for trouble. They hated each other. More then once a fight occurred. Pulling each others hair, scratching and biting each other. Only when they were in public they could behave themselves.

Beca Mitchell their captain was a short and tiny brunette. She was moody and distant and grumpy. She hated life and people in general. She was extremely into herself and hated talking or being around people.

The person she hated the most out of the Bella's was her co captain. Regularly the other girls were witnesses of their screaming matches.

Chloe Beale a fiery and bubbly redhead was not only the co captain but also the complete opposite of Beca. She was social and loved to cuddle with pretty much everyone. She didn't have any boundaries and didn't believe in personal space.

Most of the girls hated her for that. They were not happy when she barged in their rooms without knocking or asking. Or the fact that she borrowed their stuff without asking.

Then there was Fat Amy. A big blonde Australian women. She was loud and rude. She had absolute no filter and said everything she thought. She loved food and had no problems with stealing the rest of the girls food. Much to the rests irritation.

Lilly was the quiet and sometimes psychotic Asian girl. Most of the time the rest of the girls couldn't hear anything that she said. And when they could they were most of the times they were shocked. She scared the hell out of them by appearing when they didn't expect them. Nobody wanted to share a room with her and they avoided her most of the time.

Cynthia Rose was the only black girl of the group. She had a gambling problem that had almost spiralled out of control. She was gay and ogled the rest of the girls in the house openly. This made the girls feel uncomfortable around her. The repeatedly asked her to stop that but she refused to do so.

Flo was the most annoying foreign exchange student. She had always an answer that had something to do with her native country Guatemala. And most of the times her answers had nothing to do with the original questions that had been asked.

The sex addict of the group was Stacie. A tall brunette who had banged half of the campus. Although she was smart, she used her brains mainly to plan her next catch. She didn't care about who was around when she brought home her catch of the day. Her very active sex life kept the other girls awake more often then not.

Then there were Jessica and Ashley. Nobody cared about them. And no one bothered to learn who was who. Jessica the blonde one was energetic and neurotic. She drove most of the girls insane with her crazy questions. Ashley the brunette, was bossy as hell. She hadn't any problems with telling Jessica what to do. Or when to do it. Or how to do it. The fact that they shared a room didn't help.

The youngest member of the group was Emily. A tall clumsy girl who spent all her time writing songs. She wasn't the smartest of them and always messed up. She asked the most stupid and dumb questions.

The Bella's were supposed to be a supportive sisterhood, but they weren't none off that. They didn't support each other. They used every opportunity to tear each other down. They weren't afraid to use violence against each other.

The campus security had visited them many times after receiving complaints about almost everything. They had always had gotten away with warnings because they were the pride and joy of Barden. But this time they wouldn't get away with just a warning.

For the past few weeks the tension in the house had built up. And today a massive fight had broken out between the girls. There was screaming and shouting. They cursed at each other. They pulled each others hair. And they had actually been hitting each other.

It all started when Chloe found out there was money missing. Money from their collective household account. She was paying the bills when she noticed it. She had called the girls together to discuss it. They had accused each other and from there it had spiralled out of control.

They first had pointed at Cynthia Rose. She was the addict. Cynthia Rose didn't take it well and had punched Flo who was the closest to her. Flo had pulled her hair. Stacie and Jessica tried to stop the fight. But when they got punched they joined the fight.

When a chair went through the window, their neighbours had called campus security. They arrived ten minutes after the call. By then the front yard of the Bella's house was covered in clothes, furniture and personal stuff.

The five security guys struggled to break the ten women apart. And after an hour they finally managed to get the situation under control. They were tired to respond on these calls. It was the third time this week that's they had to come here. So they gave the Bella's two options.

The first option was that would work on their internal communication. And that they learned to live with each other in peace. The second option was that they would kicked out of their house if they didn't chose the first option.

They realised they had a problem. They needed to work on their team spirit. And maybe it wasn't a bad idea to bond. So they choose the first option.

They booked a weekend away at a retreat. And they were in for a big surprise. When they arrived they were greeted by nobody else than their former captain Aubrey Posen. Chloe who had booked the retreat neglected to mention that Aubrey runned it.

And that led to another fight before they even knew what was expected of them this weekend. The sound of a whistle followed by a warning shot stopped them.

Aubrey yelled at the girls. Making them feel guilty. They were not the Bella's she had left behind. When she was the captain, she regularly planned in bonding nights. And other activities. She told them how disappointed she was in them.

After Aubrey's rant they learned that the had to do together this weekend. None of them looked forward to it. Normally they got at each others throat easily. Let alone if they had to spend a weekend together. But Aubrey refused to listen to their complaints.

She led them to a field. Their first task was to build two tents. And they needed to be standing before the sun would be gone. Aubrey showed them the materials. She left them but not before warning them for the bear traps.


	2. A view from the outside

Aubrey Posen knew she was a bitch. She had a knack for bending people's will. And she didn't hesitate to use that skills in her advantage. That's why she started her own retreat. Her methods maybe were unorthodox, but they worked. She really cared about the Bella's but their early behaviour had shocked her. It was something she didn't accepted or tolerated.

She knew something had to be done. Someone needed to get them back in line. And she was the perfect person for the job. Her retreat was the right place. And the teambuilding program she had for them was going to help them. And she knew it was going to be a long weekend.

Currently she watched them from a distance. The tent building task she gave them didn't go well. Emily, Ashley and Jessica were the only three that put effort on the job. She wasn't happy with how the girls refused to listen. When those tents would be standing she had a surprise for them.

She kept watching them and saw Beca lying in the grass. She had her earplugs in and didn't interact with any of the other girls. Flo and Cynthia Rose were fighting. And the rest of the girls were busy with their phones.

The first tent was build and the second one was halfway done. She decided that it was almost time to pay them a visit. But not before giving one of her crew members the task to cut of a tree. But only when she gave him a signal.

Beca hated Aubrey more than she hated the rest of the girls combined. And she hated camping. She didn't want to be here. Stucked for a weekend with those bitches. She wasn't planning on helping to build the tents. And she made it very clear.

"I don't know which of you bitches is going to build those tents, but it's not going to be me" she said.

She put her earplugs in and turned up her music as she lay down in the grass.

Flo didn't understand the meaning of camping. She complained about voluntarily live like dogs. Which irritated Cynthia Rose. They started to fight. None of the other girls felt the need to interfere. They were too busy with their phones. The only three that seemed to realise that the job needed to be done if they wanted something to sleep in were Emily, Ashley and Jessica. Without complaining they started to build them. For the first time there was teamwork.

"I see that you succeeded in your first task" Aubrey said.

She inspected the tents and without anyone of them noticing she gave the signal. She stood next to them to compliment them when a tree fell down on one of the tents.

"It looks like you got to share. Sleep well" she said cheerfully before she left.

Ten girls who hated each other sharing a tent was asking for problems. This was going to be a disaster and Aubrey knew that. But she knew that it was the only way to bring them together as friends.

It didn't take long before the first problems started. Stacie accused Cynthia Rose of touching her goodies. Which she had done.

The next fight was between Jessica and Fat Amy. Fat Amy almost crushed Jessica when she got out of the tent.

Then Beca screamed at Chloe. The redhead once didn't care about boundaries which made the blood of the brunette boiled. The rest of the girls complained about the lack of space. Aubrey walked around the tent and could hear all of this. She realised it would be a challenge to make them a team again, but she knew she could do it.

Early in the morning she woke them up with her whistle. None of the girls were happy to see her as they didn't get much sleep. But Aubrey didn't care. It was high time that they learned to get on with each other.

She gave them half an hour to get dressed and eat their breakfast. Which resulted in more complaints from the girls. They needed more time but she didn't give in to them.

Exactly an half hour later she returned to them. Only to find them in another fight. She had enough of this. She blew her whistle and asked their attention. They were not amused when she told them the were going to do death defying team building exercises. And the idea that they had to do everything together wasn't something no one looked forward to.

Their first exercise was a trail, in order to finish it, they would have to work together. At first they refused to help each other, but soon they realised that if they wanted lunch anytime soon they would have to. There was just one problem, Beca and Flo were too short to reach most parts of the trail.

No one volunteered to help them reach the trail so Aubrey showed her nazi side to them. Finally Lilly offered to help and soon the other girls following her example. After four hours of teamwork they finally completed the trail.

To tired to fight they were ready for their lunch. They ate in relative quietness and peace. But as soon as they finished and had some of their energy back they started to fight again. Aubrey couldn't exactly tell what happened or who started it.

Beca had enough of this shit. She yelled at the girls and started to walk away. She didn't looked at the signs she passed. After four steps she ended up in a bear trap. Helpless she hung in a net in the air. She was afraid of heights and demanded that they bring her down. Aubrey informed them that the retreat didn't have any ladders.

"I suggest you work together and find a way to rescue her" she said and walked away.

She didn't liked it to leave them clueless, but she knew it was the only way to force them to work together as a team.


	3. A startling insight

"I'm going to sue you, Posen!" Beca yelled at her former captain.

Unimpressed the blonde walked away. She didn't even look up or back when she left the baffled Bella's.

And then Beca got scared. Suddenly it dawned on her. She hadn't exactly been nice to any of the girls this year. What if they didn't want to get her down?

The girls on the ground realised that Aubrey wouldn't come back. It was upon them to rescue their captain.

"Yo bitches, we need a plan to get Shorty down" said Cynthia Rose.

"Any ideas?" Emily asked.

"Don't look at me. I'm the hot one. I'm not supposed to have any ideas" Stacie responded.

"I'm pretty sure I'm the hot one" Fat Amy said.

Then another fight broke out. This time it was about who was being the hot one.

"Girls are we really going to fight about this right now?" Chloe asked them.

Beca's fear of heights took over and she started to panic. And hearing the girls fight again didn't help her situation exactly.

"I'm sorry guys. I didn't mean al those things I said to you the past year. I love being a Bella. And you all are my friends. But I'm seeing spots. So please help me down" she said to the girls below her.

She just finished her words, when she fell down with a bang.

They all stood still before checking on their captain. After they made sure she was okay, they looked up.

They never expected to see Lilly hanging upside-down with two knives in het hand.

"I sleep upside-down like a bat" was the only thing the Asian girl said.

They had been civil towards each other. But that didn't last long. The next exercise was reason enough for a next war.

The zip line wasn't an exercise they wanted to do. Seven of them were afraid of heights and three of them couldn't swim. They needed to encourage each other in order to do this. But it isn't easy to encourage each other when there was only hate. And no one wanted to go first.

After getting caught in that bear trap Beca had been thinking. She was the captain so she decided to go first. She needed to show the girls they could do this. She was terrified and kept her eyes closed. But she did it. The next one was Lilly. She was the only one of the group who actually liked these kind of exercises.

Together with Beca she encouraged the rest of the girls to do it. There was a lot of screaming but eventually they all did it.

Other exercises that involved water didn't go exactly as planned. Flo tried to drown Emily twice. Cynthia Rose almost got smashed by Fat Amy when she jumped from a giant air cushion.

They ended their exercises with a mud race. And for the first time they really enjoyed what they were doing. They laughed at each other and just had fun. After the race Aubrey cleaned them with a garden hose. They somehow found some teamspirit. They worked together to throw Aubrey in the mud.

"Okay, that was two steps away from being almost fine" Aubrey said when they all had changed into clean clothes.

Beca rolled her eyes after hearing those words.

"Now that you found a bit of teamspirit, I have a fun exercise for you tonight" Aubrey continued.

Now they were worried. Aubrey saying fun and exercise in one sentence was never a good sign.

"You have about three hours before I'm going to get you. Use the time wise" Aubrey finished.

Before she walked away she turned to Beca.

"Care to join me for a moment?" it wasn't really a question.

Beca sighed and followed her former captain.

When they were out of earshot of the others, Aubrey gestured they sit down for a moment.

"Beca, I know it's not easy to combine leading the Bella's with your studies. And with your internship" the blonde began.

"But it's really important that you plan Bella bonding activities. Why do you think we had regular movie nights and sleepovers?" Aubrey asked the younger girl.

"I don't know. To annoy us?" the brunette answered.

"No, it was not to annoy you. It was to create a bond between all of us. As an a capella group you are amazing. But being a Bella is more than that. It's a sisterhood that is going to support you for the rest of your life. And there is ten of you. All different personalities. If you put more effort in knowing each other it will benefit you as a group" Aubrey said to her.

"Think about it. You can go now."

When she was back with the girls all she wanted to do was take a nap. This day had been a very emotionally and physically challenge for her. But Aubrey's words got stuck in her mind.

Instead of taking a nap, she checked up with each of the girls. Making sure they were okay.

They all noticed the tension between them was a lot less. Working together as a group had a positive influence on them. And they had learned things from each other that they otherwise never had known. But they needed to keep working on that. A weekend in a retreat wasn't going to be enough.

Aubrey observed them from a distant. She was surprised to see that Beca really listened to het and took her words to heart. She saw the small captain talking with each ofthe girls individual. They all seemed in a good mood. That moment she knew the girls would get there. She wondered how their last exercise of the day would go. It wasn't going to be an easy one. But it was necessary.

Was this retreat going to be a turning point for them?

She hoped it would. This group of girls were amazing and she hoped they would see it themselves after tonight.


	4. Campfire confessions

"Tonight we're going to do a speaking exercise. I want each and every one of you to tell how being in this group makes you feel." Aubrey said to them.

She had brought them to a campfire and they all sat around it in a circle. She knew this exercise wouldn't be easy but it was necessary to get them all on the same page. As she expected nobody volunteered to go first.

"Why don't you start?" she said to Emily who sat next to her.

The youngest Bella took a deep breath and started.

"My mom always made it sound that being a Bella was the best thing that ever happened to her. But I don't see it. Since I became one of you, nobody takes me serious. None of you see me as a Bella. I am only a legacy. And I hate it that I always get blamed when something goes wrong. Or Fat Amy telling me how dumb I am. That's why I decided to quit when we are back at Barden" Emily said.

Nobody knew what to say to comfort the younger girl.

"What I most hate about you, is that nobody seems to care who I am. I've been a Bella for three years now and none of you besides Ashley knows my name. And I'm sick and tired of being called Ashley" Jessica said.

"I didn't become a Bella to be mocked by everyone else. I've been here literally the whole time but none of you would even notice if one day I decided to not show up. And just like Jessica said, I'm sick and tired of being called someone else's name. My name is not Jessica, Jessley or Jashley. I'm my own person but none of you care anyway" Ashley said.

"I know you all call me a slut behind my back. Even if I have a lot of sex, that doesn't mean I am one. I am more than that and I wished that you all could see that" Stacie said.

"I might not always understand you Americans because I'm from a different country. That doesn't mean I am dumb. I worked my ass of to earn a scholarship for a good university. But all you ever see me as is that dumb girl from Guatemala." Flo said sadly.

"I used to like being a Bella. Well except for the cardio part. Not to offence you Aubrey, but I really hate that. But then we were a group. Now we are a bunch of girls that only act civil towards each other when we perform. And that is not what I signed up for." Fat Amy said.

"I hate it when you all avoid me. Or look at me like I'm some sort of monster or a serial killer. If you all took the time to get to know me you would see I'm pretty nice." Lilly whispered.

"It's not that I hate you. I'm just not used to having friends. Or interact with other people. But what I do hate is that you all assume I'm pissed off because I don't smile. And I really hate you Chloe for always invading my private space. Or that you always borrow my stuff without asking." Beca said.

"What I don't like of you is that you always point out the fact that I'm gay. That has nothing to do with my abilities to sing. Yet that's the only thing that you bitches always point out. It makes me feel like I'm not a complete human and sometimes I want to kill myself because of that." Cynthia Rose said quietly.

"I've failed Russian lit three times on purpose to stay a Bella. But now I wished I graduated at the same time as Bree. We're not the close tight knit ladies we used to be. I hate all the fighting and yelling. Nobody talks normal to each other. Once we were friends and now we are enemies that only stay together and act like we're the biggest friends when we perform. I hate the fake people we became." Chloe said.

As each Bella spoke it became clear to them that they had issues. Aubrey hadn't said a word during their confessions. She wanted to suggest something but Beca beat her.

"Well, it seems that we have to try to be better. I don't want anyone to quit or feel like they are left out. We are a team. And it's about time that we act like one." she said.

"And Cynthia Rose, please don't kill yourself. You matter as a human. And I'm sorry if I gave you the feeling you're not worth being a part of this group." Chloe added.

They all were very emotional after the confessions. They all needed to let the words sink in. They all had been feeling bad about being a Bella, but they hadn't know that every one of them felt the same.

"I guess this is enough for today." Aubrey said.

They were all tired. Today was a rollercoaster of emotions for them but they were glad their thoughts were aired. Each Bella felt better that night then they did when they woke up that morning. And for the first time in a very long time they all slept without fighting one another.


	5. A shocking discovery

I thought the confession would help the girls. That they would realise that they weren't alone with their feelings. Boy, I was wrong.

The next morning I was woken up by a panicked Chloe. Both Beca and Cynthia Rose were missing.

My mind went back to yesterday's confession. Cynthia Rose had said that she sometimes wanted to kill herself. I prayed that nothing like that had happened. As I got up and dressed myself, I followed Chloe to the rest of the girls.

They were all fully awake and in shock. Eight girls looking at me like I was responsible for this. They looked at me like I was their captain again. If I had a perfect solution for this.

I inspected their tent and saw that their bags were still there. I couldn't call them because the girls had to handed their phones to me when they arrived.

I grabbed my walkie-talkie and instructed my staff to look out for them. I gave a description of them. The retreat was big but not so big that they would get lost. The most dangerous thing that could happen was that they were caught in a bear trap.

Suddenly I realised something. They both didn't know how to swim. When I thought about that I started to panic. But I couldn't let the rest of the girls know that.

I walked away until I was out of earshot. I grabbed my walkie-talkie again. I immediately instructed my staff to check every bear trap and every lake.

When I was back with the girls they asked me what they could do to help. Truth to be told, they couldn't do much. They didn't know the area like I did. I knew this retreat like the back of my hands. So I told them to stay in the tent.

As I left them I tried to think about what could have happened. I tried to place myself in their shoes. A scala of scenario's went through my head but none of them made sense.

"Think Bree, think" I said to myself.

I was pretty sure that Cynthia Rose was the first one to get up. Maybe the confessions were to much for her. And then Beca, who was known to be a light sleeper in a unfamiliar area had followed her. The alt girl always denied it, but she was a true leader. Chloe had told me more than once that Beca always made sure that everyone was inside before she locked the house.

The more I thought about it, the more I was convinced that was what had happened last night. But where had they gone to? That was the big question right now.

As I walked outside the marked path, my staff reported that none of the bear traps were activated. I was relieved that they weren't trapped, but the other scenario kept going through my head. I really hoped they didn't end up in the water.

I looked everywhere for them. I contacted my staff but none of them had seen a sign of them. Dammit, where the hell were they? They couldn't disappear overnight. They had to be somewhere close. I couldn't imagine them walking to the other side of the retreat in the middle of the night.

I kept going. I needed to find them. I needed to know for sure they were okay. They had to be. I didn't want to lose them. They had their whole lives ahead of them. They were such talented girls and I never told them that. I never told them how proud I was of them or the other girls. I started to get desperate and give up. We were looking for three hours for them and there was still no sign of them.

Something bad had happened to them. I could feel it. And it was all my fault. My stupid confession exercise had done that to them. I would apologise to them when I found them, I swore to myself.

Cliff, one of my staff members contacted me through the walkie-talkie. He reported that he saw something float in the big lake. My heart started to pound in my chest after hearing his words. And I told him I was on my way. From where I was it was a ten minute walk to the lake. I started to run towards the lake. I reached the lake in four minutes.

Cliff pointed to a dark spot in the middle of the lake. I grabbed my binoculars to get a better view of the spot he had pointed to. My heart stopped when I recognised Beca's hoodie. For a second I was paralysed. I prayed to God that it was only her hoodie. But I had to make sure they didn't drown. I looked around me but I didn't see them.

Without thinking I jumped in the lake and started to swim. For the first time in my life I was glad that my father had forced me to join the school swimming team. I was out of breath when I reached the spot where Beca's hoodie floated. Frantically I looked around me.

Two of my staff members had followed me in the water to help me search. The three of us swam in circles to search the area. But we didn't found them.

Then an idea popped in my head. A few metres from me was a mini island. What if they washed up on there? I was so focused on the floating hoodie that I didn't think of that.

We all were. It wasn't realistic that they washed up there but I had to investigate it. They were my sisters and I needed to try everything before giving up on them.

I motioned to the others to come with me. I told them about my theory. It was worth a try and the three of us swam to the island. We were relieved of what we saw there. Both Bella's were washed up on the island and they looked soaked and unconscious, holding each others hand.


	6. Bittersweet

The first thing i did was check if Beca was breathing. I couldn't feel, see or hear anything. I panicked. Shit I thought. I scrambled to check her pulse and to my relief I could feel one. I started cpr. Nothing. She wasn't moving. I tried again. Still nothing. I looked over to the Bella's, all of them were huddled together in tears. I had to try again. It was not ending this way when things were getting back on track. For the last time I pushed down on her chest. She jolted up.

She spluttered and coughed. A flood of water came out of her mouth. Immediately after she threw up.

She looked around in a frenzy realising what had happened.

"How is Cynthia Rose doing?" she asked me.

I looked to Cliff who was busy with Cynthia Rose. She hadn't woke up yet. I went over to him and silently asked him how she was look on his face said everything before he said a word.

"She's gone.."

I refused to believe him so I pushed him aside. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I started to perform cpr myself. She couldn't be dead. I refused to give up on her.

"Get Beca and the other girls and bring them to my cabin." I said.

When I was alone with Cynthia Rose I cried out loud.

"Come one Cynthia Rose. Please breathe. You're to young to die." I kept saying over and over.

In my heart I knew Cliff had been right, but I couldn't stop. I wanted to make sure that I did everything to save her. A Posen never gives up, and I wasn't planning on starting now. I didn't know how long I already was trying to bring her back to live and I didn't care.

Cliff had come back and gently pulled me away from Cynthia Rose.

"Aubrey, stop. She is gone. It's no use" he said quietly.

He wrapped his arms around me and then I lost it. I cried uncontrollable.

"NO!" I screamed.

And then I realised I had to tell the restof the girls the bad news. I couldn't do that. How could I face them after what happened?

"Beca, what happened last night?" the girls asked me after I changed in some dry clothes.

" _After our confession I couldn't sleep. I was still awake when I noticed that Cynthia Rose got up and left the tent. Something didn't feel good about it so I followed her."_

" _Cynthia Rose wait. Where are you going?" I asked her._

" _Leave me alone Beca. I can't take this anymore. I've had had it" she said._

" _She kept walking away so I followed her. When we got by the lake she finally stopped. She sat down and we talked. She told me how alone she felt. And how much it had hurt her all the things we had said to her. I apologised to her. I told her that none of us had realised that we were slowly killing each other. That none of us knew that our behaviour towards each other had caused."_

" _You know Beca, I joined the Bella's because I wanted to be a part of a group. I grew up in a house were there was no love. I was abused and worked hard so I could go to college and escape home. Then I joined the Bella's, and for the first time in my life I felt loved. I felt I had a family, that I belonged to something that really mattered. Then Aubrey graduated and our group started to drift apart. And I felt like I was in my home again. Aubrey was a bitch and she was hard on us, but at least then we were a group."_

" _I didn't know what to say to her. I felt sorry for her for what she had been gone through. And she was right. I had failed on all of you as captain."_

" _And then she stood up and jumped in the water. I knew she couldn't swim. I knew I hadn't time to get help so I jumped after her. I can't swim either, but I tried everything I could to save her. I wasn't planning to watch her die before my eyes. I managed to get to her and I grabbed her hand. I tried to keep us floating._

 _Then everything went black. I can't really remember what happened after that."_

I saw the girls sitting in my cabin. I knew I had to get in and tell them the truth. But I couldn't. This was to awful to tell. It was going to break them. But it had to be done. I took a deep breath and composed myself. I had to get in.

"Bree, how is Cynthia Rose doing?" Chloe asked me as soon as she saw me.

Nine sets of eyes looked at me. My heart broke as I looked back at them. I couldn't say anything. I just shook my head and I started to cry.

They all looked at me in shock and then I collapsed.


	7. Black Angel

Stacie was the first one to react. She walked over to the blonde and picked her up. She carried her and put her on her lap as she sat down. She wrapped her arms tightly around her former captain.

The rest of them were to shocked to respond. Connected by the loss of their black angel they sat together in total silence. None of them had expected that something like this would happen.

Flo was the first one to break the silence.

"In my country, when someone dies we light candles to remember and celebrate their lives. And I think we all should do that to offer her some peace. She will be considered a black angel because of the way she chose to leave this world" she said softly.

None of them were very religious or had any experience with saying goodbye to someone who took their own life. Although it wasn't normal for them they agreed with Flo. Cynthia Rose deserved a loving remembrance, and her sisters would make sure she get what she deserved.

"How does this ceremony works? And when do we need to do it?" Jessica wanted to know.

"We will need eleven white candles. They will symbolise each of us. The first white candle symbolise the deceased one and will be lit by the oldest person around. In this case that will be Aubrey. Then each of us will light a candle from and say our own goodbyes. After we say our goodbye, we place the candles in a circle around the one that stands for Cynthia Rose. And then we have a wake until the last candle is out." Flo explained to them.

"Maybe we should wear something more appropriate for this" Chloe said.

The only appropriate outfits they had with them was their Bella's outfit. They all stood up to change their clothes. When they came back they saw that Aubrey had the eleven candles ready.

She lit the first candle and placed it on the table.

"Descansa en paz mi hermana. Nunca olvidaré tu vida mientras viva" Flo said as she lit her candle.

"Goodbye Cynthia Rose, I will miss you" Fat Amy said as she lit her candle.

"Goodbye sister, you will always be in my heart" Jessica said as she lit her candle.

"I will never forget you" Ashley said as she lit her candle.

"Rest in peace, and thank you for everything" Stacie said as she lit her candle.

"Goodbye Cynthia Rose, I hope to meet you again someday" Emily said as she lit her candle.

"Goodbye, you were truly a star" Chloe said as she lit her candle.

"I hope you are in a better place now. And I will never forget you" Aubrey said as she lit her candle.

"Pyeonghwa-e jamgyeoissneun naui yeodongsaeng" Lilly whispered as she lit her candle.

"Goodbye CR, I will never forget you. You were the bravest of us all" Beca said as she lit her candle.

After the ceremony they all drank a glass of Boone's farm to celebrate the life of the sister they would forever hold in their hearts.

The sat in silence for a moment, each lost in their own memories of Cynthia Rose.

Suddenly Stacie started to sing and when they recognised the song, they all joined her.

 _Seems like yesterday we used to rock the show  
I laced the track, you locked the flow  
So far from hangin on the block for dough  
CR, they got to know that  
Life ain't always what it seem to be (uh - uh)  
Words can't express what you mean to me  
Even though you're gone, we still a team  
Through your family, I'll fulfill your dream (that's right)  
In the future, can't wait to see  
If you'll open up the gates for me  
Reminisce some time, the night they took my friend (uh - huh)  
Try to black it out, but it plays again  
When it's real, feelings hard to conceal  
Can't imagine all the pain I feel  
Give anything to hear half your breath (half your breath)  
I know you still living your life, after death_

 _Every step I take, every move I make  
Every single day, every time I pray  
I'll be missing you  
Thinkin of the day, when you went away  
What a life to take, what a bond to break  
I'll be missing you_

 _We miss you Cr_

 _It's kinda hard with you not around (yeah)  
Know you in heaven smilin down (eheh)  
Watchin us while we pray for you  
Every day we pray for you  
Til the day we meet again  
In my heart is where I'll keep you friend  
Memories give me the strength I need (uh - huh)  
to proceed  
Strength I need to believe  
My thoughts CR I just can't define (can't define)  
Wish I coul turn back the hands of time  
Us in the six, shop for new clothes and kicks  
You and me taking flicks  
Makin hits, stages they receive you on  
Still can't believe you're gone  
(can't believe you're gone)  
Give anything to hear half your breath (half your breath)  
I know you still living you're life, after death_

 _Somebody tell me why_

 _One black morning  
When this life is over  
I know  
I'll see your face_

 _Every night I pray, every step I take  
Every move I make, every single day  
Every night I pray, every step I take  
Every day that passes  
Every move I make, every single day  
Is a day that I get closer  
To seeing you again  
Every night I pray, every step I take  
We miss you CR... and we won't stop  
Every move I make, every single day  
Cause we can't stop... that's right  
Every night I pray, every step I take  
Every move I make, every single day  
We miss you CR_

When they finished the song they all smiled. This song described exactly how they all felt. They were all sad and they would miss their sister, but they all had faith that they would see her again one day. And Cynthia Rose wasn't with them anymore but they believed she would watch over them from heaven. 


	8. Awakening

Going back to Barden was hard for them. None of them wanted to leave the place they had been last together as a group. But they had to go. They had stayed longer at Aubrey's retreat as they planned.

But life goes on. They had studies and work to attend. Cynthia Rose had wanted that they would go on with their lives, that they were sure of.

Beca had texted Jesse to let him know what had happened. The Trebles had texted them to wish them strength. They also would have a memorial service for Cynthia Rose.

The ride back to Barden was unusually quiet. None of the girls were in the mood to talk. Each of them were grieving and thinking about life. Cynthia Rose's death had brought an awakening.

They were sisters that needed to support each other instead of tearing each other down. They wanted to prevent that something like that would ever happen again and in the past few days they've grown closer to each other.

When they entered their house they were tired from their trip and the past events. They decided to order some food. In the time they had to wait for their food, they brought their bags to their rooms.

Emily who had shared a room with Cynthia Rose refused to go in the room. But who could blame her? After the events of that week no one wanted to go in there. It was her room. She had slept there on that bed. It was her clothes in the wardrobe but she wasn't there anymore and the room was a reminder of that. She had left so much behind. The Bella's, her family, her belongings, her life. She was gone and she wasn't coming back..

Cynthia Rose's death had an deep impact on them all. They only went to classes and work the days before her funeral. Her family had contacted the Bella's and asked if Beca would speak at the funeral.

She needed to think about it. Cynthia Rose's last minutes still played in her head. She then decided she would do it. As her captain, sister and friend she owed it to Cynthia Rose to show her some last respect.

Beca wasn't good at writing but Ashley was. She wrote an eulogy for Beca to read at the funeral.

The girls including Aubrey stood together as it was Beca's turn to speak. With the support and presence of her sisters she had the strength to start.

" _There's a lot to say about Cynthia Rose. Her troubles were more than skin deep. They ate her up inside until she couldn't take anymore. The things said, what we all said put her there. We never truly realise the error of our mistakes until it was too late and this time it took the life of a wonderful women that had her whole life ahead of her…"_

Beca started but she couldn't finish it as her emotions took over and her tears started to fall down.

" _We may not have all got along all the time but she was a Bella, she was our sister and we always have and always will love her. I wish she was here to see the support and love that went amiss when she was here. If we showed this when she was alive, she'd probably still be here. I'm sorry we let you down Cynthia Rose. Rest in peace..."_

Ashley finished it as she was the only one who knew it by heart.

After the girls finished there was complete silence. Each and every one in the room needed a moment to let the words sink in. It gave everyone something to think about.

Death brings regrets. And Beca's and Ashley's words really hit some heart strings. Cynthia Rose's parents came after the funeral to Beca because they wanted to know how their daughters last minutes had been.

She found it hard to talk about as it was all still so fresh, but she knew they had a right to know it.

So she told them everything. How the group had fell apart after Aubrey's graduation. The hatred that they had towards each other. How things had spiralled out of control. And that the retreat had been their last option to get back together ad friends. She told them about the confessions they had made. How much it had hurt Cynthia Rose how they had communicated with each other.

The hardest part was telling about Cynthia Rose's last moments, but she did it with tears in her eyes. She told them about their conversation by the lake. How the fighting and the name calling had reminded her of her home.

It wasn't easy for Beca to tell. But it was harder for Cynthia Rose's parents to hear it. To know how their daughter had suffered, without them knowing it.

They cried upon hearing this. But they were grateful for Beca telling them. It wasn't what they expected to hear. But it was a truth they needed to hear.

It was hard to hear those words come out of that girls mouth. I knew we weren't the best of parents but I never thought we were that bad. We loved her. She was our baby girl and we should of treat her like she deserved. But here I am, burying my daughter because of my mistakes. I should of knew. I should of realised. How can a mother not realize that she was making her own daughter suffer? How could I let down my baby girl.

After the conversation with Cynthia Rose's parents the girls hold each other in a tight group hug. From now on they would face the world as sisters and friends. They promised they would be there for each other no matter what would happen in life.


	9. Nightmares

" _It was dark and cold. She was glad she grabbed her hoodie at the last minute. She hated to walk around at night in the unfamiliar place. She was scared to death that she would get caught in another bear trap. But she had to follow the girl. She couldn't let her walk alone at night. Shit, were had she go? The moonlight shone through the trees and suddenly she saw a glimpse of the girl she followed."_

" _Cynthia Rose, wait." she said softly._

" _The girl didn't hear her or didn't want to hear her. So she kept following her. She couldn't leave her alone. No Bella left behind. She walked a little faster so she wouldn't lose her. Where the hell was she going to?"_

" _Suddenly she felt scared. They were at the lake. The moonlight made the water glistening in the night. Before she could register what happened, the girl before her jumped in the lake. Fuck, Cynthia Rose couldn't swim. Neither could she. But it was to late. She jumped after the girl. And then she panicked. What was she going to do? It was dark and she was in a lake without anyone else knew where she was. She tried to remain calm. She was floating."_

" _CYNTHIA ROSE! Where are you?"_

" _She never got an answer. And the next moment she saw her friend. And then she knew it was to late. Cynthia Rose's eyes were still open. But every sign of life was gone."_

" _NO! "She screamed._

" _Hoping someone would find them soon she kept holding on to the lifeless body of her friend"_

"Beca, wake up." Chloe voice brought her back to reality.

When she opened her eyes she saw the concerned look of the redhead. And the rest of the girls.

She wasn't at the retreat anymore. She was home in her bed. Having a nightmare. Again. This was the fourth time this week that she was woken up by the girls this week.

Since the funeral she kept having nightmares. Cynthia Rose's face haunting her in her dreams. Every time the dream was the same. And every time she felt as hopeless as she had in real life. But the dream was different than what happened in reality.

In her dreams she didn't get the chance to talk to her friend. She didn't get the chance to tell her how much she had cared for the other girl. Or how proud she had been of her.

Someone, Jessica she thought, had brought her a glass of water. Without saying anything she took the glass and drank it.

"Come on Becs, you're going to sleep with me' Chloe said.

The rest of the girls left to their own rooms and she followed Chloe.

Chloe didn't know what to do. She looked at the tiny brunette that now slept peacefully in her arms. But she knew something had to be done.

The past events had took a toll on everyone. Beca's nightmares affected everyone of them. The small girl looked paler and paler every day due to her lack of sleep.

Emily still refused to go to her room and had moved in Lilly and Flo's room. The youngest Bella had her own nightmares about Cynthia Rose. Not as lively as Beca had. But still enough to keep her awake at night. Chloe could hear the Legacy walk through the house at night.

Legacies pacing in the night woke up Stacie more than once. She always would get up and tried to comfort Emily. Which resulted in Emily sleeping in the taller brunettes bed most nights.

Jessica and Ashley who already were quiet didn't speak at all. The two of them clung together and had silent conversations with each other that only they understood.

Fat Amy avoided to be in the house as much as she could. She slept at Bumper every night. She couldn't handle to see her friends suffer.

And Flo? Flo didn't talk anymore. No more comments about how things in her country where. Her once sparkling eyes were dull.

The only one who didn't seem to have problems was Lilly. The quiet Asian girl hadn't changed since everything that had happened. She still mumbled things nobody understood.

Those were the things Chloe thought about at night when everyone else was asleep. She barely hold it together herself but she had to remain strong for the others. She was the shoulder to cry on. The listening ear when the other girls needed it. She was the oldest and had to.

She couldn't turn to Aubrey. Her best friend had a mental breakdown after everything that had happened. After the funeral she had collapsed. She didn't return to her beloved retreat. No, she was now a client in a mental hospital. Chloe tried to visit her as much as she could.

Something had to change, and fast she thought once again when she looked at her sleeping friend. They all had grown closer, but they still fell apart.

The next day she called everyone together for an emergency Bella's meeting. They all sat in the living room waiting for Fat Amy to arrive.

"We need to talk" she said when the big blonde had arrived.

"I know we all grief in our own way. And we all miss Cynthia Rose. Her death brought us closer together, but we can't go on like this anymore" she said.

"I've noticed some things that we can't ignore any longer" she continued.

"Cynthia Rose's death affected us all in different ways. And we need to talk about it as a group."

"It hurts me to see how much pain we all have."

"Beca, your nightmares keep us up. Which we don't mind. But you need to learn to trust us and talk. It's not healthy to keep everything inside."

"And Legacy, I know your afraid to go into your own room. I see you struggle and having nightmares. I can hear you walking through the house most nights. And I know you sleep in Stacie's bed after she comforts you."

"And Fat Amy, don't think I don't notice how you avoid to be here. We only see you around at practice."

"Flo, you never talk about your country anymore. Your once sparkling eyes are dull. And it worries me."

"Jessica and Ashley, you already were quiet. But now you two don't talk anymore at all. You are always together and seem to have conversations with each other that none of us understand."

"And most of you don't even know it, but Aubrey is currently under the care of a mental hospital."

"And as for myself. I try to keep to be there for all of you. Try to be the listening ear, and shoulder to cry on. But I'm barely holding it together myself. This whole situation isn't healthy. And I don't know what to do anymore" she ended her confession.

They all looked at her, but no one knew what to say. They knew she was right.

"I'm sorry I keep you up at night. I just feel so guilty about what happened to Cynthia Rose. I failed as a captain when she was still alive. And now I feel that I failed again. I keep having nightmares about what happened that night. But in my nightmares I don't get the chance to talk to her. And her lifeless eyes keep staring at me. I'm sorry I didn't talk about it. I'm not good at this stuff. But I want you all to know how grateful I am to have you in my life. All of you are the best friends any girl can have. And I love all of you awesome nerds" Beca said softly.

Tears streaming down her face after she told them how she felt.

"You're not failing us, Shawshank. You're one of the most awesome girls I know. And without you we had never gone so far with the Bella's" Fat Amy said.

The rest of them agreed with her.

"But in the future you need to talk about what's bothering you." Chloe said.

"I'm sorry for abandoning you guys. It just hurts me so much to see you all struggling. I don't know what to do to make you feel better. Normally my jokes help you, but this time it's different. But I promise I will be here for you guys. If anyone needs some of my confidence, I'll be here" Fat Amy promised them.

"I'm sorry Chloe and Stacie for keeping you up at night. I'm just scared to go in my room. Every time I try see her face. It haunts me. When I think of all the memories that room contains. The fun we had. The serious talks we would sometimes had. That keeps me up at night. And sleeping in Lilly and Flo's room doesn't help. For some reason I feel safe with Stacie" Legacy confessed, looking much younger than she was.

"I don't mind it Legacy. Maybe we should move you into my room. If it helps you to sleep better, we need to try it" Stacie said.

Jessica and Ashley looked at each other before Ashley spoke.

"We know we're not as important as the rest of you. We're not as outspoken as Fat Amy or Stacie. And we accepted that. And yes, you are right when you said you noticed that we speak without words. It's just that we both are Bella's for three years now, and Cynthia Rose's death didn't change much for us. We too suffer. We too miss her. She was our sister as much as she was yours. But most of you still don't know which one of us is who. No one of you asked us how we felt. If we were okay. And the past three years we learned to rely on each other."

The rest of the girls looked at each other and realised they were right. The two of them were so quiet that they easily were forgotten.

"You are right Jessica" Beca said.

"I'm Ashley. See this is what I meant" she said.

"I'm sorry Ashley. But the two of you are equally important to the group as the rest of us. Without your beatboxing skills or Jessica's high notes we wouldn't have the sound we have. And I'm sorry that we make you feel that you're left out" Beca said feeling guilty.

"I try to be there for all of you. But you still avoiding me. You still look at me like I'm some weird monster or that I'm scary. But I too suffer. Cynthia Rose was my sister as well. And maybe I think differently about death than most of you, but I'm grieving too. But I wished that you would come to me. I'm not that bad. And I'm a great listener" Lilly said in a normal voice.

They looked at her surprised. They didn't know she could talk at a normal voice.

"No need to shout, bitch" Fat Amy said.

They started to laugh. Finally the mood lightened a little.

The only one who didn't laugh or responded was Flo. The Guatemalan girl was still quiet. She didn't look at anyone.

"Flo, is there something that you would like to share with the rest of us?" Beca asked her.

But the girl just shook her head.

She couldn't talk at the moment. She couldn't find the words to express how she felt.

The girls seemed to understand it and didn't pressure her into anything.

"Chloe, I know how much you try to keep us together. And you do an awesome job. But for you goes the same rules as for anyone. You need to talk when it's to much. You can't do it on your own. If you had told us about how you're feeling we could have support you" Stacie said.

"Yeah, and if you had told us about Aubrey, we would've gone with you when you visited her" Fat Amy added.

Surprised the redhead looked up.

"I knew you were sneaking off to some place. Your not very good in keeping secrets Ginger" Fay Amy continued.

"So what are we going to do now?" Stacie asked.

But no one had an immediate solution for all their problems.


	10. A new start

_Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal._

 _Death takes lives but it gave so much back to the persons who stayed behind. And they had to learn that in the hardest way possible._

 _The black girl had left them. But she left a legacy that they only understood. Her death had united them. Her death had made them the family again they once were._

Being a captain was simple. Being an involved captain not so much. After their last conversation Beca realised that. If she wanted to keep them together she had to put more effort in it.

She couldn't let Chloe take all the responsibility for the girls mental health. She was the captain. And it was her responsibility to keep their group together.

Together they had gone through so much. More than just singing together. They all were her friends, and she intended to keep them in her life.

She made sure they had a weekly night together. They would eat together. Sometimes just watching movies. But most of all she made sure that they talked on a regular basis. She wanted to know what went through their minds. That they knew that they could talk about anything. Most important that no one felt left out and that they knew they had each others back.

But those weren't the only changes she made. She knew they had to work on the emptiness that Cynthia Rose's death had left.

She had one thing she wanted to talk about with the others so she had called them together.

"I know it's hard to talk about. But I think it's time to clear out Cynthia Rose's stuff" she said softly.

They agreed with her, but none of them had the courage to step in the room that once belonged to their beloved sister.

Finally Lilly, Flo and Fat Amy stepped up and took the task upon them. It was hard for them to go through their deceased sisters stuff. Getting her clothes out of the closet and put it in boxes. Or touching her personal stuff. But together they managed to complete the task. They had contacted Cynthia Rose's parents and they picked up her stuff.

The next thing they did was repainting the room. Although the room was now completely different, Emily still refused to go back there. Since their last conversation she moved to Stacie's room and felt comfortable there. Eventually her nightmares stopped.

Just like Beca's nightmares had become less. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she talked about her feelings now.

But more likely it had something to do with the fact that she and Chloe had become very close. Those first weeks after the funeral she had slept in the redheads bed. Somehow that turned into something completely natural. She didn't even had a problem with the redhead invading her personal space anymore. That was one of the subtle changes that had happened.

Jessica and Ashley who had always relied on each other slowly started to do their own things. Hanging out with the other Bella's seperately from each other. But at the end of the day they still ended up with each other.

Cynthia Rose was gone, but Fat Amy took over her role to have several ongoing bets about various things involving the Bella's.

They all took turns to accompany Chloe when she visited their former captain. These trips cemented the relationship between all of them.

Slowly their lives went back to normal although the past events had changed them forever. But that's how life worked. You love someone, then you lost them. You grieved and then one day you go further with your life. And that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Cynthia Rose was gone but they lived. They had to go on. Life live to the fullest. And they tried that. It was hard and without Cynthia Rose things weren't the same anymore. They noticed it in the small things.

Stacie missed the girl who would always held her hair back when she puked after drinking to much. She even missed Cynthia Rose ogling her. And each of the girls had their own little things they missed about her. Yes, they did go on with their lives but it didn't mean that they would ever forget her.

Performing without Cynthia Rose was different. They missed her bass. They missed the soul of their performance. But they had an unspoken agreement that they wouldn't replace her. Nobody ever could replace her. She had left a gap that nobody could fill.

Even John and Gail didn't made any comments on their first performance without Cynthia Rose. Everyone who watched them saw how they struggled without her.

But still they managed to keep their sound, although it was a different sound. But their sound wasn't the only thing that had changed. Their whole way of life had changed. For the better, but it was bittersweet that something tragic had to happen in order for them to change.

Together they had battled. They had suffered. But eventually together they had overcome everything and became the family they're meant to be.

 _ **The End**_


End file.
